Bodily functions are NOT funny.... but sometimes they are.

So.... gas. Let's talk about it. Actually, you should be rolling on the floor laughing right now because, apparently, gas is the funniest thing on the planet, and the fact that I wrote the word at all should have thrown you into tear-wiping, belly-aching, fits!

Maggie has three jokes.
One:  "Knock, knock. Who's there? HOT DOG!"
Two:  "Guess what? CHICKEN BUTT!"
And three:  "BURRRPPP! Excuse me!" HA HA HA! This one is her favorite. And I hear it all... the... time. No gas? No problem! That doesn't stop her - she's one of the only three-year-olds I know whose comic forte is sound effects and impressions. She can do a mean impression of the dog... if the dog could talk.
Today she showcased her skill at improv. (and here comes what a 15 year-old Maggie will think is the most embarrassing story EVER! Gawd MOM!)

She was standing in front of me with her pants and panties around her ankles complaining that she got some pee on her panties. Typical end of the world stuff. She's in the middle of whining, "But Mommmmm, my panties are wet!!!!!" when she farted - or rather "tooted", which is what we lovingly and ridiculously call it. She stops mid-sentence and throws her hand up to her face, "Oh! I tooted!" and then turns her naked butt in my direction and says, "Excuse me!" in a deep silly voice.

That's right folks, "Mom, my butt said excuse me because my butt tooted!  Sometimes my butt can talk." And then to further illustrate her butt's vocal abilities she turned her butt toward me again and said, "BURRRPPP, Excuse me!"

Her butt burped. I almost kept it together through the first half of the conversation, but (butt) the second bit killed me!  I guess the preschooler has a decent bit going after all, I mean not many people can pull off a talking butt. Laughed my BUTT off. Ha ha... get it? (clearly I am not as comically blessed as my child)