Big S needs a labotomy...

Topic of this entry is my other, less desirable, never adorable, child... Big S the dog. Big S is wearing out his welcome.

Big S got to spend the day separated from his cohort Little P. Little P is a bad influence on the big oaf. So Big S got locked in our bedroom for the day while Little P got gated in the mud room. But Big S can open doors, and he escaped, and rebelled. He pooped in Miss M's room, peed on a basket of her toys, ate a whole bag of homemade cookies, and tore up the bathroom trash. What fun for him, what a mess for us. He was chastised, and I know that people say that once the damage is done a dog doesn't know what he's being disciplined for, but I think Big S knew because the next day he was a relative angel. Seriously, anyone need an extra oaf? I have one, give him to you free!

But alas, I'm afraid my hopes of freeing myself from the obligation that is Bis S will be dashed with my next revelation. Last night I took Big S to the vet to finally check out the pink spots on his belly. And walked out $370 poorer. Apparently the food alergies that have caused him to itch have resulted in an itch-induced bacterial infection that requires the world's most expensive antibiotics, and the world's most expensive anti-histamines (and anti-fungal shampoo, and fish oil capsules). So now we need to figure out yet another food option for him, clear up this infection, and try to keep him from getting another one, or he will once again be perscribed the world's most expensive antibiotics. Do I have time for a high maintenance dog? NO! Am I going to take care of this idiot until the day he dies? YES. I'm such a sucker. On the up side, we learned that Big S does not have arthritis, as a previously (clueless) vet had suggested.

Grunts McGee...

You know how pigeons can't walk without poking their head in and out? And how people can't sneeze without closing their eyes? Well, I think babies can't crawl without grunting.

When Miss M is crawling around she makes this funny grunting noise, "ghe, ghe, ghe, ghe", with each swing of her knee. Apparently other babies do the same thing. How strange. She also does it when she's walking with her baby-walker. "ghe, ghe, ghe, ghe." It kind of reminds me of the sweaty guys at the gym that grunt every time they lift weights.

Oh, and speaking of walking... I will be so happy for Miss M when she finally has enough balance to walk on her own. She already thinks she can do it, and boy is she stubborn! I'll try putting her down and instead of folding into a neat little bundle like most babies, she stiffens her legs and demands to stand. Where there's a will there's a way, I'll be chasing her down the block before I know it.

Ebola Monkey

Now I feel really, really bad for my girl. If you read the previous post you know that Miss M had a 24-hour stomach virus the other day. Well, I should have known being puked on six times in six hours would have dire consequences for Mommy. After 24-hours of incubation, Mommy caught the stomach virus. Thank god it's quick, but OMG - I thought I was going to die. Even Daddy caught it, although he never actually tossed his cookies. I, on the other hand, showed my respect for modern plumping about seven times. Two sick parents, one cranky (teething) baby, this was not a fun Friday night. I'm still pretty rough around the edges today, thank god J is feeling a lot better, he's on chase-the-baby duty today. The little drunkard reached the top shelf of the wine rack and nearly knocked herself out trying to select the perfect Merlot. What do you think goes best with applesauce, 2003 or 2005? One more thing to baby-proof.

Currently Covered in Puke.

Finally! I've had the joy of experiencing another of the great joys of motherhood... being covered in puke for the better part of a day. Poor Miss M, baby has her first stomach bug.

I mean seriously, can we take a break from the illnesses for a while? She just got over her ear infection, and before that had just seemed to get over never-ending runny nose, and now she has this... whatever this is. She doesn't have a fever, her mood is pretty good, she just seems a little tired - and can't keep anything down. I feel so bad for my girl!

Troublemaker...

New video of Miss M - banging, giggling, walking!

Apples and Pumpkins

Miss M's first tip to the apple orchard and pumpkin farm was this past weekend and she had a blast! Our cousins met us at the apple orchard and we got tons of great pics of all the kids. Granny and Grandpa were there too. It was great fun watching 3-year-old C pick an apple, take a bite, and throw it on the ground, pick another apple, take a bite, and throw it on the ground, again, and again. Little E was there as well, her first fall-fest, just like Miss M. We had a hay ride up to the top of the orchard and walked back, enjoying the beautiful fall day. I can't wait until next year when Miss M and Little E will really know what's going on and join in the apple picking fun. The best pictures below, and a link to more at a kodak gallery.

Click HERE to view all of this weekends pictures.

Screaming

Miss M has learned that screaming is not only fun, but useful as well. She screams at the top of her lungs whenever she wants something, doesn't like something, does like something, etc. And I'm not talking about crying - crying is different. This is a scream like, "HEY! MOM! I'm pissed off over here, hurry up!" A cross between a grunt and a yell that often ends with a high-pitched squeal. I can not wait until she learns how to talk and can express herself without shattering eardrums.

Miss M's impression of "The Rock"...

The elusive flu shot...

Apparently you need to be 100% healthy to get a flu shot. Especially if you're a baby. Which is a nice idea in theory, but if your baby goes to daycare when the heck are they ever 100% healthy!

I took Miss M to the doctor to get her shot - the first of two, apparently you need two flu shots if you're a baby and have never had it before - but she wasn't able to get it, yet again. She has an ear infection! Poor baby! Riddle me this Batman... Why give a baby bubble gum flavored amoxycilin? Babies don't know what bubble gum tastes like, and you can still taste the medicine. They should make amoxycilin that tastes like applesauce or baby oatmeal - then little sick baby wouldn't be so surprised by the crazy bubble gum grossness.

She goes back in three weeks to make sure the ear is clear and hopefully (fingers crossed) get her shot then.

Newest Pictures...

Baby food.

Just to warn you, this entry takes on a life of it's own (stream of consciousness)

I think S, the big dumb dog, is more excited for dinner time than Miss M. He loyally sits beside her watching her every move, waiting for his chance at a big slurp of baby spit and mushy chicken dinner. I have to admit, some of the varieties are pretty tempting. Like "Hawaiian Delight", doesn't that sound tasty? Like a delicious rum cocktail? Or a something your husband does to you on your honeymoon?

But there are other baby food flavors Miss M would happily leave for the dog... like green beans. Just so you know, mushed up green beans smell like shit. I really can't blame her for spitting them out.

Although most spitting is completely intentional, every once in a while we have an uber-cute moment that involves accidental spittage. Like when I had just shoved a spoonful of carrots in her mouth, and she sneezed, and orange liquid splattered all over the place like from a water sprinkler. I laughed my butt off.

And speaking of laughing butts off - Miss M has decided that gas is funny. Last week she burped really loud, like an adult, and started giggling immediately after. Then just the other day she farted really loud, like her daddy, and started giggling immediately after. It has got to be one of the funniest things in the world to see a baby laughing at her own gas explosions. She's daddy's girl alright!

More 3-year-old gems...

From the mouth of babes...

We saw my nephew this weekend, and once again he reminds me why he is the most hilarious person I know...

1. Plllhhhiiitt... "I farted," he leans over to me and whispers. "I know," I say back. "Excuse yourself!" his mother says. He looks at me and says, "Excuse you!"

2. C, can you please put Miss M's tylenol on the coffee table? "Ok, but we don't drink coffee on this table. We eat on this table, this is where I eat my toast." Aunt K says, "Oh, is it a toast table then?" C - "Uh huh."

The Holiday's are Right Around the Corner!

Can you believe it's October already! Where does the time go! Anyway, it will be Christmas before you know it, and there has already been a little bit of discussion about what Miss M would like for her very first Christmas. To that end, Mommy has started a Amazon.com wish list for Miss M. Grandma's, Grandpa's, Aunties, and Uncles that are curious about what Miss M might like can check it out by looking in the column to the right of this post - there is a link about a third of the way down the page.

Our boring week...

OK, so this video would be totally boring if you're not a family member. It's Miss M's recent highlights - standing and crawling - and a little bit of dogs acting like morons.

Poop in the bath!

Ewwww!!!!!!!
Miss M pooped in her bath! I know that I wipe poop off her tush multiple times, every single day, and I know that I've seen poop in water before (duh, toilet), but I was soooo skeeved out by this I can't even BEGIN to tell you. Yuck, yuck, yuck - babies are sooooo gross!